I did it all for the nookie

This is on the boss's calendar for tomorrow:

"stop by at Embassy suites to meet person from [city that's about an hour away] area"

Maybe he meant tangerine

For those that don't know, the boss works in the financial industry. He also does estate planning. He just told some clients that common stock in a company is tangible property. No, he wasn't talking about a stock certificate, but actually owning stock in a corporation. I can only imagine what the clients were thinking...

"I don't know what I did to deserve such a self centered kid."

-Boss, who claims to be able to read faster and comprehend more than anyone he knows, referring to his daughter that lives on the opposite side of the globe on not communicating often enough with him. 

Boss to mother: "You gave yourself cancer."

Wholesaler Guy: Good is good enough.
The Boss (in agreement): Yeah, good is the enemy of great.

"My brother's next door neighbor that lives across the street..." -The Boss

Maybe he doesn't want to catch depression

In our small building there are a couple psychologist offices. There are just two bathrooms for the renters, one male and one female. So when one must relieve oneself, one must venture into the hall. The boss just returned from the can and announced that he doesn't like to "make eye contact with the crazies out there," referring to the people that are visiting their doctors.

Have some compassion dude.